Jun 26 2011

Tell it like it is, sister!

Rob


Sep 19 2010

I’ve seen the Light! Halle-frigging-lujah!

Rob

People who know me knew already, and people that don’t know me probably don’t care. But here it is; I’m a Pagan. Devoid of all chances for salvation, I believe in the Old Gods. Fairies. That kinda thing. So I’m probably going to Hell. In a handbasket. If I believed in the concept of Hell. Which (or Witch. See what I did there?) I don’t. So the point is mood…

I like to mess around with incense, meditation, Reiki and other stuff. Following a path that was something between Shamanism and the beliefs of the North American Natives.

But that’s all OVER! Done are my wicked ways! Because I’ve SEEEEEEN the Light! Well, something on youtube that convinced me. Because be honest; who can argue with nobody less then Kirk Cameron (made immortal by the sitcom “Growing Pains” and a banana.

“A banana?” I hear you say?

“Yes…” I reply, hanging my head in a humble way, for I am unworthy to look upon the item I mentioned not mere sentences above… “… a banana.”

Because nothing less then the banana is proof of the existence of the Aaaaaaalmighty God!

Yes, ye non-believers. The banana is the absolute proof God exists. Because bananas have a built-in opening mechanism. Like soda cans. Which were made by man. And bananas were not. So they must have been made by someone else. Which by logical conclusion must have been… God.

Halleelluuuujaaaah!!!

Rrrrright…

Now someone explain the coconut to me. Or the brazil nut…

I’ll be waiting for your answer while I make some more incense. And play with my tarot cards.

And have a banana…

P.S.; Just for the heck of it, watch it again, and in your head replace the word “banana” with “cock”…


Jul 11 2010

Life, the Universe and Everything…

Rob

Truths. He speaketh them. This answers all questions a sane sentient being could ask. Well, maybe not all of them. Like;  “Why are we here?”. Or; “Where can I get a good gin&tonic at 6 in the morning?”. But a lot nevertheless. Not that I would know a sane sentient being if I stepped on it. Or maybe I did. I mean, there’s lots of ants in my garden. And the little buggers always get underfoot. I guess the phrase “I wouldn’t know a sane sentient being if it bit me” is more appropriate. Nasty little buggers…